By admin We all want to be happy, right? It’s that universal goal we all chase, from reading self-help books to trying every new happiness hack, striving for that perfect life. But here’s a truth no one really talks about: the harder we try, the more we might be sabotaging our own happiness.
I learned this the hard way. A few years ago, despite checking all the boxes of a “successful” life—dream job, a relationship that seemed straight out of a rom-com, a bustling social calendar—I felt something was missing. I couldn’t pinpoint it, but there was a constant, gnawing feeling of dissatisfaction. Why wasn’t I happy? I had the life I thought would lead me to joy, yet I woke up every day feeling like something was off. And the more I tried to “fix” it, the more it eluded me.
The Overachievement Trap
If you’re like me, you’ve probably been led to believe that happiness is a reward for hard work. You’ve been told that if you achieve enough—land the dream job, buy the right house, get the relationship you want—then happiness will follow. But here’s what I realized: happiness isn’t something you earn through accomplishments. It’s not a destination, nor a prize you win. The more I chased it, the further it seemed to slip away.
I call this the “Overachievement Trap”: that belief that happiness is contingent upon crossing off life’s checkboxes. I was constantly working harder, achieving more, and yet I wasn’t feeling any happier. The pressure to be “perfect” made me lose sight of something important: happiness isn’t a goal—it’s an experience.
The Epiphany That Changed Everything
One summer afternoon, feeling drained and defeated, I decided to take a break. I made a pact with myself: for one week, I wouldn’t set any new goals. No more hustling, no more striving to achieve some “ideal life.” Instead, I would focus on simply being —being present, being grateful, and embracing the small, everyday moments that often pass unnoticed when you’re chasing after bigger things.
It felt strange at first. I had this constant urge to “do” something, to fix my life or make it better. But after a few days, something unexpected happened: I began to feel lighter. A walk in the park wasn’t just exercise; it became a chance to appreciate the beauty around me. A conversation with a friend wasn’t an obligation, but an opportunity to truly connect. By the end of the week, I felt a peace I hadn’t experienced in a long time.
That’s when I had my epiphany: happiness isn’t something you chase down. It’s something you allow into your life by letting go of the pursuit. By stepping away from constant striving, I invited happiness in. And for the first time in a long while, I realized that happiness is found in the moments, not the milestones.
The Power of Letting Go
So, what’s the secret to happiness? It’s not about achieving more or checking off another life goal. It’s about letting go of the constant need to “do” and learning to simply be. When you stop trying so hard to “get there,” you begin to notice that happiness was already here—right in front of you. In the morning light streaming through your window. In the laughter of a friend. In the quiet moments of stillness that often get overshadowed by life’s distractions.
Happiness is not a goal. It’s a state of mind. And when we stop putting pressure on ourselves to constantly achieve, we can finally embrace the small joys of everyday life.
Why You Should Quit Trying So Hard
Here are a few important things I’ve learned along the way:
1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
We live in a world where comparison is easy. Social media amplifies this pressure to live up to others’ “highlight reels.” But happiness isn’t about measuring up to anyone else’s life. It’s about appreciating your own journey and recognizing that joy comes from within, not from keeping pace with others.
2. Let Go of Perfection
We’re taught that happiness comes from a perfect life, but perfection doesn’t exist. We’ve all heard the saying “embrace the mess”—and it’s true. Perfection is an illusion, and real happiness is found in embracing the imperfections, the quirks, and the mistakes. It’s about being okay with not having everything figured out.
3. Embrace the Present Moment
Most of us spend our time either rehashing the past or worrying about the future. But the present is the only time we truly have. When you stop worrying about what’s next, you’ll realize that joy is found in the here and now. Whether it’s enjoying a cup of coffee in the morning or watching a sunset in the evening, those are the moments that make life worth living.
4. Do What Feels Right, Not What You “Should” Do
So many of us spend our lives doing what we think we should do—following societal expectations or trying to meet external standards of success. But happiness comes from aligning with what feels true to you, not what others expect. If it doesn’t bring you joy, don’t do it. Choose what aligns with your own values and passions.
Happiness Is Not a Prize You Win
In the end, happiness is not something you can win through hard work or accumulation of achievements. It’s a byproduct of living a life that is true to you. When you stop striving for it so desperately, you create space for happiness to emerge naturally.
The secret to happiness? Quit trying so hard. Let go of the pursuit, embrace the present moment, and appreciate the simple joys in life. Happiness will come—not as a reward for hard work, but as a gift that finds you when you’re not looking for it.
So take a deep breath, stop hustling, and let yourself be. Happiness is already waiting for you.